The funny thing is, I never woke up one day thinking I would be a dating and relationship coach. I fell into it. My divorce left me crippled. I started looking for information, and amidst all that, I knew there must be other men out there going through the same thing. So I thought to myself, “how can I create a network of guys that can all come together, share notes and ideas, and get out of the mess that we’re in?” 

So I amassed a group of men in a Facebook group, and 10 guys turned into 20, and 20 turned into 100, and it kept growing. As of January 2022, we have over 3800 members in that group. Through those men and listening to their struggles, I decided to become a dating and relationship coach. I knew there were answers out there, and so I went searching, and here we are today. I get to share my knowledge with others and create a little dent in the universe while doing it.

I went out and got more certifications and began facilitating workshops prior to the pandemic. I have since converted everything online and started focusing on building programs and courses to help more people. I’m also authoring my second book. 

All these things just kind of happened.

I’ve kind of “been there, done that,” and when you combine that with a relentless curiosity to know more, it begs the question of why I never took the leap and got started sooner. I got married and divorced young. Had a couple of children, and here we are. I don’t have custody of my kids, which is a tricky road to navigate, but it’s not uncommon, and it puts me in a unique position. I can help others view things in a perspective that you may not necessarily have been able to see on your own. 

I went from divorced, broke, and living out of my car to knowing I'm being put in a unique situation where I can help men go through one of the worst times of their lives with the least possible damage.

On this journey, I’ve begun interviewing thousands of men and women, couples, and singles from all different walks of life. It truly has given me the ability to see things from all angles. I literally get to see how deeply connected we all are, and then I analyze all of the little nuances in between after. 

I'm also a bit of a history and philosophy buff. As I get older and more experienced, I get to see certain patterns play out and can almost predict whether or not a client and their significant other will make it through their marriage/relationship. Obviously, I’m not a hundred percent accurate with this, but objectively I can probably rank in the 90th percentile if we kept track.

I try to stay humble, but I’m very well-read, and my experiences go very far and wide. I’m able to house conversations that go very deep but also very vertical, and so that is why I make sure to read 10-15 books a year to keep my mind sharp. It’s the best way that I can see to help further my clients' results.

The question I get a lot is how do you cope with the heartbreak and sadness of a breakup or the loneliness from the divorce? A lot of people find me when it’s too late or when the damage has already been done. Although I like to align more with the prevention side of things, you can’t stop every relationship from failing. In fact, the divorce rate hovers around 40% right now. It’s pretty much like flipping a coin.

So when they come to me, I always tell them that you’ve got to put a time limit on it. An end date. Whatever that day is, that’s when you’re going to stop thinking about your ex, your past this, and your past that. You’re no longer going to entertain thoughts or ideas that frankly haven’t happened nor will ever happen. And you become done with it. But until then, there’s a lot of work to be done. I have a specific method for this. 

However, you must give yourself that time to grieve. But as soon as that date hits. You’re stopping, cutting it off—cold turkey. You’re no longer going to be bitter. You’re no longer going to be a victim. You’re starting your new life over that day. No excuses. No more. 

And that’s why I build communities of support so others can assist with staying accountable to this. It’s literally like weaning yourself off drugs. Love can be a scary thing.

In 2022, the single biggest red flag is not knowing what you want and/or hiding those intentions if you do. Biggest red flag.

Look if you’re here for a good time, but a short time. Let it be known. If you want to go down the aisle and have some kids. Then let it be known. 

But I also do know that men lie and women lie. And there are some of us who say and do certain things just to get some bedroom fun, if you know what I mean. But if we could all be honest? Now that’s a good start to anything. Not just a relationship.

But letting people know how you view monogamy or you don’t is going to help you down the road. Besides, you save each other the biggest valuable asset that we can’t get back…time. So do both of yourselves a favor and just be honest about your intentions.

 If you’re a player. Just say it. Now if you’re a homewrecker, I understand, you can’t let them know your next move, but just know, there’s a special seat for you somewhere hot and I’m not thinking tropical. 

I’ve limited my one-on-one coaching this year, as I’m focusing on helping more people and trying to create more of an impact, so the best way to get involved is through my group coaching programs. I have one for men going on right now. If they want to register then they can go to my website (https://www.therobinchoe.com) There’s a section under Courses. I’m working on a course right now for women, the release date is to be determined right now, but I am creating some interest for that. If there’s enough of it, then I would definitely make one, but until then I need some women who are down to test out the program. So if you are a woman and you want to get involved then download the Attraction Triggers PDF for women and that will put you on my mailing list. 

That PDF is loaded with information on how to have your man wrapped around your fingers by the way. It’s something I wrote to help my female audience that’s been recently growing. Super valuable.

 For specifically fathers who are going through divorce, I have an open community called “Dads Overcoming Divorce” on Facebook and they’re welcome to join for free.  

I’m all over your favorite social media @therobinchoe Everywhere. That’s my handle. Come find me.